9 November 2016

13 tips on how to help the new mum


1. Wine 
Buy them loads of wine. It will come in handy.

2. Nice face cream 
Buy some nice stuff. There's not an inch of makeup going on that new mamas face anytime soon so a nice face cream is the least you can do. 

3. New pyjamas, slippers, dressing gown, lounge wear 
She's going to be spending a lot of time in it so get some decent stuff. 

4. Epsom salts 
Helps heal everything up nicely if she ever finds the time for a bath. 

5. Food
It doesn't matter what but any treats are welcome. There's a good chance she hasn't ate all day.

6. Genuine visitors 
Lovely that you want to see our new baby that we have just gave birth to but unless you are genuinely going to come visit again in 6 months, don't bother. Your on our list. 

7. Praise
Tell that mama she's doing a great job and that she's an amazing mum. It's not that often we get told if ever. 

8. Good time keeping 
Being a new mum is 24 hours a day so if you make plans, stick to them. If you cancel give us notice. DON'T be late. There's a good chance we have ran about all morning trying to get everything to fall into place to even leave the house. 

9. MAMA friends
Introduce her to other mums. Ask them for lunch or to go a walk. I don't care if you've never spoke, it doesn't matter. We are in the same bubble and actually a bubble you can relate to. Making friends with fellow mamas can be really lovely. 

10. Support
She will need a lot of it. Be gentle. We can act like fire breathing dragons when our small child is upset or not playing ball so it's not our intention to upset anyone. Just pop a smile on and try nod your head. Oh and get us another glass of wine. 

11. Do your research
If you want to engage in child discussions DON'T ask 'Are you chilling today?' We are aware we have approx. 9 months off on maternity leave and I know you may think this is a total skive but being a new parent is genuinely the hardest job in the world. Expect us to be so busy we forget to text back or that we forget a birthday. Just message to send your love and if we need anything (food) then your there in a heartbeat. 

12. Work 
Going back to work isn't even in our train of thought right now so don't ask. We have this cute crying bundle of joy to handle at the minute and we can't remember when we last slept so leave that one out. 

13. Flip flops
It's the easiest footwear to shove on for running outside and binning the shitty nappies. (buy them for her - Primark £2)

I know I've missed a million things, what's your tips to helping the new mum? 
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9 October 2016

Fashion after having a baby

When your pregnant dressing your bump kinda becomes a thing. Anything comfortable, loose, bump hugging, leggings, flips flops all become your new wardrobe staple. What happens though after 9 months of growing your beautiful little human? Our bellies have been stretched to a whole new planet and the adjustment after takes a little getting used to.

Immediately after birth
I found I needed the baggiest comfiest pyjama like bottoms right after. Nothing that was going to upset my poor fragile lady bits. I wanted a loose top as your stomach doesn't feel like yours. Flip flops were my go to regardless of the weather.

After the recovery
(OK so now what do i do?)
I can remember the moment I got into my maternity JEANS and it was pretty good. Thank god I look slightly more presentable. Whilst I was breastfeeding I had to live in loose shirts as I found them the easiest to whip open. When I say whip I mean WHIP those guys were full and angry.

Getting back into your old clothes (PRE BABY GROWING)
I also can remember fitting back into my old non maternity normal jeans and that's about it. I may as well have burned all other clothing. Suddenly everything I loved before didn't feel comfortable. Too much skin on show or it just didn't fit right. I hit a brick wall - (they were my clothes) what else am I meant to wear now!?

Over the next few months I started to try on new clothes and attempted to think outside the box. Ask yourself what do you feel happy in? Adapt what you like and try new things. I found myself being drawn to layering. It can look effortless if done right but also there's hardly any skin on show. Crisp shirts, knits, denim and some leather is what I'm feeling at the moment. As much as my lovely non mummy friends remind me that I'm still young and can wear what I want which is absolutely true. Anyone that's had a baby knows that something changes within you that going back to your old wardrobe isn't always that easy. Don't get me wrong I've managed to put on that dress and go out with non mummy friends and be okay. Day to day life though with your little boo is quite far away from putting on that little dress.

I try not to put too much pressure on myself. Does this look OK? Does it make me look even bigger? Realistically most days its some UN-ironed t-shirt and jeans you end up throwing together. When I have something on or your having a well deserved night off or TIME even that's a good time to play about with clothes and see what feels good on your skin.

Find something you know you feel safe in and then have fun with it. The process of you becoming a mummy and getting yourself back to feeling like a normal human again is interesting but make it fun if you can! Let me know what your wardrobe staples are? (might give me some ideas)
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28 September 2016

6 months update


I genuinely can't believe my small human is 6 months old. When you have a baby the whole time thing is very weird. Everyone says it goes so fast but it really does. Every day they grow and change and grow a bit more. It's fascinating to watch and the older he gets the more he changes. Since I've been so busy raising a baby I haven't had a chance to do updates before. I'm going to start though as I'm sure it will be a lovely way to look back and remember. 

Growth 
Weight - 18lbs approx
Clothing - 6-9 months 
Nappy size - 4

Loves
Baby TV 
Cuddles
Jumperoo 
Pulling mummy's hair
Milk
Mornings
Eating his toes 
Head butting me (practically like free lip fillers)


Dislikes
Getting changed after the bath
Putting clothes on
His car seat
Tummy time 
Teething
Having a blocked nose

Firsts this month
On the swing in the park
Tasting banana, avocado & sweet potato
Going on daddy's shoulders outside
Baby rave
Soft play


Playing
Grabs everything (My hair usually & daddies beard)
Likes his acorn rattle, crispy soft book, jumperoo and his lie down gym.
Can sit unassisted nearly.
Becoming harder to change him as he's so fidgety.

Health
He's had his first viral infection and it's not nice. You really do feel helpless with them it's a shame.
Teething is still a daily struggle. Some days better than others. No sign of any though.


Parenting
Finally able to get some us time. 
Started to notice there's more time to eat or get ready.
Leaving them with family is becoming slightly easier.

Looking forward to
Trying more solid foods 
Seeing some of his grandparents who are all on holiday at the moment.
Hopefully the appearance of teeth. 


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19 September 2016

The recovery


How come when your pregnant everyone fires advice at you (wanted and unwanted of course) about how your going to feel when you have a baby, what you should do in labour bla bla bla but no one, not even the midwifes tell you about what happens afterwards. After giving birth your left to get on with things and this I was not prepared for. 

I've just pushed a new life out of my body and I was in no way physically or mentally prepared to deal with what was to come. I had seen other mums on Facebook going out for lunch and nights out a few weeks later. That wasn't in my plan anyway but I thought I was at least going to be able to get around the house? My perception was that if you had a c-section then you have to take it very slow for the first 6 weeks. I hadn't had a section so I would be fine? NO.

After the momentous labour I was lying in the hospital bed staring at my little baby whilst completely numb. I had been packed full of so many drugs my body took a full day to get some feeling back. Moving my legs or getting up wasn't an option, which meant relying on everyone else and all the midwifes (who were amazing by the way)

Once the numbness wore off that's when it hit. Oh god I was in so much pain. I had a catheter in as well as feeling like I was stitched up to my ears. The only way I was getting home is to have the catheter removed and to do my first pee. It was horrendous. You have to pee into one of they sick bowl look a like things so you can prove to them you've peed over a certain amount. No one told me this. 

The blood. You bleed a lot and everywhere. It's not pretty and it's quite shocking the quantity but a small human did just exit you so I guess it's fine. I had to heavily rely on medication afterwards, as one set of tablets started to wear off I started to panic. I would desperately wait on the midwifes coming round with my next dose as no way I could wait a minute longer feeling like I couldn't move my legs incase everything ripped apart.

After a good few days in hospital I finally got the all clear to go. I wasn't rushing home as I really needed the help and I felt like I was struggling. Another mum had commented asking if I had a section just from the way I was moving about which I thought was odd. 

I get home and everyone explained to me that you've just had a baby so it's going to take you some time to get around again. Except I was struggling to even lift my baby but kept telling myself this is normal. The medication was high and god forbid I missed a dose. I wouldn't say the baby blues hit but I did feel upset sometimes. I only felt upset because I felt frustrated. I wanted to lift my baby and to change him and cuddle with him but I didn't feel in control of my body and that was difficult. 

As the days went on I felt worse and I couldn't sit down or move to much. Getting upstairs took forever and lowering myself onto the toilet was even worse. It wasn't until I was doing a pee which you really have to build up all the courage in the world to do! I got this very sharp and painful pain through my stitches I let out a loud scream and my mum came running. A doctor came to the house 10 mins later and after touching my hips etc she explained I had got an infection. 

I thought it was weird how weeks were going by and I was getting worse not better. It explained why I could hardly move and getting out of bed to sit up was a task never mind leaving the house for lunch. She upped my meds and slowly but surely I started to feel better. I really needed that full 6 weeks recovery time. I had a pre conceived idea that after you have a baby all your lady bits go to shit. That's what folk say right? That's not the case or I was really lucky. I've been through hell and back but actually your body is full of surprises so don't worry too much. I felt a lot of pressure because I seen so many other mums getting on with things but we must remember we have just gave birth it's putting your body through hell so we need to let ourselves heal. I didn't have much choice in the matter. 

This meant the first 2 months were a bit of a blur for me. From normal recovery to being ill and breastfeeding then my partner was away from the start it wasn't the easiest. However as time goes on you get stronger and you learn every day about yourself, yourself as a parent and how to care for this little magical person you created. It does get easier but the challenges change. Previous frustrations turn into new frustrations but you adapt together and you get better. It's a journey that's for sure.

All I will say. I don't wish post labour poop on my worst enemy. It's actually tragic and if I even remotely told you the details you'll never look at me the same. 

Use protection kids. Loves ya xox
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11 September 2016

The birth..

Due date - 27/03/2016
Born - 24/03/2016



It all began on the 21st March 2016. My day was pretty normal hobbling about the house tidying, cleaning and eating. In the evening I noticed he wasn't moving as much and I soon realised he had been quiet all day. After a quick text with my mum I decided to phone the hospital. I had reduced movements at 28 weeks so I knew the process already. At 39 weeks the midwife asked me to come along straight away. To be honest I fully expected to go and get hooked up to the heart rate monitor, get a scan and see that my little boo was fine. Which he was and they asked me to come back in the following day (Tuesday) to get re scanned just to check everything was fine. 

22nd March (Tuesday) 
Off I went to the hospital and I was to be scanned first which I was nervous about just in case there was something wrong but also excited to see my babe. The lady who carried it out was nothing short of rude. I asked her if everything was looking ok to which she replied 'oh your fluid is low' saying that to a nervous heavily pregnant - about to pop gal made me wince. Sorry what does that mean? She went on to say the fluid around the baby should be 8 something (no idea) and your fluid is about a 4. Ok ok so what happens next? She said she will have to consult with a doctor and to wait in the waiting area. Whilst waiting I decided to google it. I know I know. Anyway Google tells me fluid under 4 something (again dunno) you'll need to be induced. Wait wait I don't know what induced means. I've read everything I possibly could on giving birth and I don't know what being induced means!!!? All I know from what other people have said is..it's much worse. FAB.

I go through to the observation ward and get hooked up to more monitors. The midwife at this point was lovely she was super chatty and told my mum to go fetch me some snacks. I felt fine at this point but I think she was trying to calm me as if she wasn't wanting to worry me with what she was about to say. She went away to speak with another doctor and as she came back she whipped open the curtains as quick as you would open that new delivery from Zara with a big smile on her face SO WILL WE JUST INDUCE YOU TOMORROW? Sorry you what? What the fuck does that mean? Wait wait. I slowly felt the blood drain from head and I felt so sick. She went on to give me a leaflet explaining what happens and I looked at my mum with all the fear in the world. She explained that because of the reduced fluid and reduced movements that they are best just getting him out as soon as they can. That was it. Tomorrow, tomorrow I'm having my baby. I'm not ready. I can't do it and I don't want to do it. I left the hospital feeling very quiet and I went off to have my last supper with my mum. (eat all the pizza it was amazing)

23rd March (Wednesday) 
Baby daddy and I woke up and we were very quiet. We took some pre hospital pics on the Polaroid and got ready. It's funny because for 9 months you are dead set on your due date any other date can really throw you off and that's exactly what happened with us. We got all ready and decided our last lunch would be of course at McDonald's so I could order 101 things off the menu cause GOD KNOWS when I'll ever be able to eat again. On the way to the hospital the radio decided to play us 'everything's gonna be alright' as we nervously smiled at each other. We get into the hospital I get a bed and that's us. A midwife tells us she's going to put something in me that resembles a tampon and that's going to trick my body into thinking its in labour. YAY. I still have no idea what was about to happen. She also explained that it can be quite a long process so it might be a couple days before he's here. WAIT so my baby isn't coming today? Anyway obviously I wasn't the norm and it didn't take ages. After a couple hours I felt myself going into labour and it suddenly just accelerated to what felt like torture. Bare in mind I was in the inducing room which is basically loads of preggo girls hopeing to go into full blown labour. Just down the hall way from mamas who have just had their babies. There I was on all fours screaming at my mum and baby daddy to rub my back and time my contractions. It got to the point where I wasn't getting a break between contractions at all so I basically wanted to die at this point. Finally after a few hours a midwife checked me which (was agony by the way) only to tell me I wasn't even in labour yet. Are they fucking shitting me? What do you mean I'm not in labour? I'm screaming the place down??? They said it looks as if it's overstimulated my body or something to that effect and they are taking the small hell like device out my body to let me settle again and they will try again later. After half an hour I'll go back to normal because it's out of me. Or so they said. Can I just add at this point they only could give me paracetamol. I was on all fours and PARACETAMOL was doing sweet fuck all. 

Another 2 hours passed and I was getting worse the contractions were coming in fast and I was getting tired. I thought they said it would settle down since it's not in my body? The opposite was happening surely I was now going into labour? The next shift of midwifes came in and obviously I got landed with a total cow. She told my mum and baby daddy to leave at 9pm as I wasn't in labour yet and the other gals had to sleep. Which the latter is fair enough but at this point I was seriously struggling, crying my eyes out and I needed the support around me. Again they got told to leave and I felt like my world had collapsed. The pain was something else and to think I was going to have to go through this by myself was worse. They left and I begged the midwife to check me again as every minute that went by I was screaming in pain. She told me to go have a bath and try get some sleep. I couldn't even speak never mind get some sleep. I went in the bath by myself and screamed for 3 hours. BY MYSEF because you know I wasn't in labour. She came in to check on me ONCE to which I pleaded with her if there was any medication she could give me to help. She said because I'm not in labour - no and to try relax. To give you an idea I sat in this heavily lit room which looked like shit, in a bath that would drain away every couple of minutes. It was hell. I have no idea how I found the strength to pull my 3 stone heavier self out of it and shift along the ward. I caught sight of the dickhead woman and told her how I feel like I have some discharge or water coming from me to which she told me it was 'probably lube from checking you earlier' which was 5 hours previous. Okayyyyyyy. In the middle of the hall with my waters starting to go I begged her to check me and to see if I was in labour. I knew I was and had been for a few hours. She said she would check me about 3am once she had her lunch, after that I lost all hope. FUCKING LUNCH. I was exhausted and I just wanted to jump out the window. I tried to lie down but I couldn't keep still I kept feeling like he was coming. Thank god for the angel who was next to me. Another mama who was actually in labour got up and helped rub my back whilst she was hooked up to her tens machine. I went on to being heavily sick and I couldn't stop. The other mama pressed the emergency button and in ran a young midwife who I felt like saved me at that point.  She took one look at me and said hmm let me ask a doctor. Once she was back she went on to check me as the other mama and I were praying my cervix had opened and I was in labour. The midwife who went on to shout OH GOD I can see the head your 3cm. The relief washed over me like that feeling when you walk off the plane on your holidays. I KNEW IT. 

24th March (Thursday) 2.30am
I quickly phoned my mum and baby daddy screaming (ovbs) IM IN LABOUR COME QUICK. I get in the wheelchair down to the labour suite and that's when it really got going I was greeted to them both waiting on me (they drove 1000mph) The midwife who met us was just the best she was so amazing and exactly what I needed after the day from hell. The first thing I asked was 'please can I get something to help me' she goes 'Aye hen of course what you after' it was like fucking music to my ears. EPIDURAL PLEASE NOW THANKS. Any mamas who have done it without pain relief actual holy shit. After over 10 hours of no help and my body going into overdrive I needed anything and that was the answer. The temperature in the room was 25 degrees so it was pretty hot. However whilst I was mid massive needle going into my spine my mum suddenly feels faint and had to leave the room to pull her self together. At this point I was going to lose my shit how dare she leave me. Poor scone was all hot no wonder and there I was being the mother breathing dragon trying to sook the life out of the gas and air machine LOL. Baby daddy took over holding me up mid needle and before you know it I was laid back feeling like I was sunning it up on some yacht.

Epidural HIGHLY RECOMMEND. After my experience I needed to NOT feel what was happening and I needed a break. From 3AM - 7AM was total bliss. We had all the laughs with the midwife, we drank the most amazing diluted orange juice, had some naps, baby daddy even had a kip on the floor. I was obviously hilarious on drugs as are most mothers to be. The main thing I can remember at this point was having the sudden realisation that OMG this is what it feels like PRE LABOUR it's bliss. It's exactly like that feeling you get when you have a blocked nose and you totally regret not appreciating your non blocked nose more. Except like way worse and it's life or death here. I can even remember thinking I can't wait to tell everyone how amazing labour is and I'm going to push him out and it's going to be so beautiful. 

7AM
I get checked again which I couldn't feel (i love these drugs). She lets me know I'm now 9cm SHIT that means I'm good to go soon and push at 10cm ae? She said she will get me pushing for 9am. How exciting I thought? At this point I demanded my mum pass me my makeup bag HAHA I 100% looked like shit. I had been through it all so you can imagine. In my drugged up state I had every reason to make myself attempt to look lovely, after all I was meeting my beautiful boy. 

9AM 
The midwife told me to start pushing omg I'm so excited. WAIT what the fuck is that. OH NO. The epidural suddenly wore off and everything hit the fan. WAIT WAIT I CAN FEEL EVERYTHING SHIT THIS HURTS. I wasn't allowed any more drugs and this was it. The pain is immense and I actually can't believe mothers are here to tell the tale afterwards. Holy shit mamas around the world are actual gods. It's unbelievable to think what we all went through to get our amazing treasures at the end. Anyway back to the pain. I was pushing for a long time legs in the air the lot. I didn't seem to be getting anywhere and I was trying my best. What was I doing wrong? Why couldn't I get him out? The next thing I remember several serious looking people ran into the room at which point I looked at my beautiful baby daddy and we had the fear they were going to take me for a section. The main midwife boss lady got all up in my face telling me if I don't push now they will need to intervene. BOSS LADY I AM TRYING. Still no luck at this point I honestly thought I can't do it. Obviously I was exhausted but it was so hard. Someone started waving a form in my face asking me to sign my life away. I mean surely you should do that earlier not right when I'm trying to push a watermelon out. I'm sure it was to give my consent for them to take me into theatre but it was really bad timing.

After pushing for 2 hours and what felt like an eternity they took me into theatre. I was told they were going to give me the good stuff (stronger drugs) as I was shitting it at this point. I was told forceps and being cut is how they are getting him out and so be it. My mum held my hand and she got me through the next few minutes. The room was packed full of people and I kept trying to make everyone laugh, god knows why. I was quite out of it by this point.

11.59AM
After a few pushes (I couldn't feel a thing by this point) our son was born. My little boo who I've been carrying for 9 months was out.  He was whisked away before I even got to see his face. Whilst in and out of consciousness and about 30 mins later he was brought into me by my mum. I looked across into his incubator and smiled with pride. There you are my beautiful boy. I was taken into the post theatre room and in comes baby daddy, my mum and my baby boy. The tears and feels were immense. We were numb, humble and in love. There really is no greater feeling. The silence that was to follow was really something else. The room was filled with utter disbelieve. He is finally here. The person we made is here. Half of me and half of my best friend is lying on my chest. Life now makes sense. This is what we are made for and we are the lucky ones. He is what love is all about. 
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22 February 2016

Pregnancy update

I thought with me having a blog I would have written loads about my pregnancy. The reality is your so busy trying to carry a human in your belly whilst trying to work and get through each day at the end of it all you just can't be bothered. Now that I've just went onto maternity leave a week earlier than expected I guess that's going to free up some of my time.

There's so many things I could write but my brain is fuzzy with hormones so it might be more of a blurb than anything actually readable.




UPDATE:

I've just turned 35 weeks pregnant. For non pregnant folk thats just over a month to go. It's weird I can remember scanning through my pregnancy app on my phone looking at the different stages of pregnancy and thinking "omg what will I be like when I'm that far along". Now I'm that far along.. I guess I still feel the same. I'm heavier (over 2 stone) and I can't really get out of bed without some sort of forward roll. I have this weird feeling that I've forgotten something all the time so I'm forever pottering about the house trying to check things off. Even so coming to terms with actually having a baby isn't quite there yet. From various mamas I've spoken to it doesn't really hit you until after your little friend appears and even then it can take a while after.

Theres so many things you learn when you go through this stage of your life. I honestly can't remember pre pregnancy it's so strange. I can remember the nights out, the holidays and the random days but if someone had said to me anything about babies and pregnancy I would have switched off. Now that's all I know and speak about which makes it feel like a very long 8 months.

Everything's going as planned which is fab. Baby is growing well and only last night he kicked me that hard I thought shit that's actually really sore which means all that cheese I'm eating is making his bones nice and strong!

Anything in particular you would like me to write about? just let me know :)

I'm away to start writing the birth plan..
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