8 December 2014

Learning about Mental Health

I find it easier to write about mental health when it's at the fore front of my mind. If you didn't know I attend CBT sessions every two weeks. (CBT) Cognitive behaviour therapy is a talking therapy that can help you manage your problems by changing the way you think and behave. My therapist suggested writing things down, which is funny because as you know I write all the time about what I'm wearing etc. It does help writing my blog but more for my creative side. What about if I started to write about how I feel? How I approach things and I how I deal with situations in relation to mental health? 

If you read my post on 41 things that happen when dealing with mental health then you would have seen that I touched apon lots of different things that happen which a lot of people were able to relate too. However, I don't know if you noticed or not but I didn't ever say "I" or "me" etc, I made it as vague as possible. I wasn't at a stage were I felt comfortable saying these have happened to me or this is what I have. Just so you know that list has all happened to me and on more than one occasion. 

For the people who know me, know that I'm a big talker. A big talker on all aspects of my life and mental health especially, I've never been one to be shy about my health to the ones closest to me. My friends and family know that I love a good chat and I can talk for hours. The people I have ever worked with know I would or will get them in trouble for talking to me and my boyfriend who hears endless stories about what's happening and how I'm feeling. 

What happens though when I, the massive talker that I am, can't talk anymore? There's that much going on in my head that I can't even make sense of it let alone tell my nearest and dearest. You could call it a lul in emotion, a numbness, a step back or as if your looking down on yourself. It's a very bizarre feeling yet your feeling nothing at all. Some people experiancing this type of thing could be going through loads of different things. A lot of the time it's down to depression and a lot of the time it's not. Confusing huh? 

I wanted to let you know of something that I'm focusing on and something huge I learned in therapy and something that I'm still learning. You know how you get passing thoughts, things that pop up in your head day to day and they disappear as quickly as they appear? Let's call it over thinking. 

What happens when you look beyond that. Theres reasons behind every emotion, every feeling and every action that we do in life. I call it my 'Core beliefs'. My core beliefs make up these deep rooted beliefs that effect pretty much all my emotions and how I deal with situations. I'll do an example since mines is pretty heavy for my poor wee blog just now and it MIGHT help you understand.

For example - 
Lets call my example bubbles lol (this is deffo no me, mines is deffos to emosh for bedtime)
Bubbles goes through her life a big over thinker, stresses loads and usually has short periods of depression. She feels uncomfortable talking to people or in big social situations. When people speak to Bubbles, she feels like they are laughing at her, she thinks they are talking about her and this makes her very nervous. Bubbles think she's just a nervous person and she thinks it's just the anxiety.

What do you think her core beliefs are?

Bubbles has to go further than her thoughts that run through her head and understand her 'feelings'. Why does Bubbles think people are laughing at her and finding it difficult to speak to people? Because her core beliefs are telling her she's a failure. When Bubbles was younger she may have had people in her life that told her to be or act a certain way. Bubbles could have had someone successful in her family and felt inadequate as a result of this. This has then led her to act on her core belief on being 'inadequate' because that' all she knows. Her current thoughts being "I can't talk to these people, they will laugh at me because I'm a failure"

In the past you may have told your mind to be a certain way and by now you have well and truly forgotten about it but your core beliefs are the things that is driving every other emotion. Your core beliefs don't have to be bad at all but when it comes to Mental Health there is usually much stronger and deep rooted problems. 

Take me for example - Say one of my friends cancel on me and it's down to them working or they double booked. In my head I would be saying "They must not want to see me" or "They can't be bothered with me" or "They found better plans" reading that back to myself seems very over the top and silly but this is a very very small example of a tiny situation I would over analyse. What do you think my core belief would be here? My deep rooted belief is abandonment and I can turn the smallest thing into someone leaving me and realistically your friends and your core belief is so far away from each other on the spectrum it's truly baffling how I can even relate such a small situation into a massive one. 

It's a hard one to get your mind across but once you do start to understand it, it can become very interesting and easier to understand why you behave a certain way. I'm learning things every day about myself but the more I'm aware, the more I want to help myself. Try not to be too hard on yourself if you act in a way you can't quite understand, educate yourself as this will help you get a clearer picture. 

Start talking about it and understand that you or your loved one might have different, unexplained reasons why they react to things in a certain manner, for all you know it could be something thats triggered that core belief and you/they might not even realise it. 



  1. I can definitely relate to bubbles ;) loved it! xx


    1. Aww I'm glad you can relate! I was trying to think of an example that wasn't me but it's so hard to think of being in someone else's head! xxxx